Global POV: At the Intersection of Technology and Culture

Dumb and Dumberer--FEMA strikes again

by David Holtzman

FEMA has proven that its previously disastrous track record repairing New Orleans after Katrina was no accident. They have now added Wag-the-Dog deceptiveness to their grab bag of multiple shades of incompetence. To "aid in getting information out" about the Southern California wildfires FEMA scheduled a short notice (15 minutes) emergency press conference in which Vice Admiral Harvey Johnson, FEMA's Deputy Director was interviewed by reporters. Sounds responsive?

Unfortunately the press conference was staged. All of the questions (which were softball anyway) came from FEMA staff pretending to be reporters. The genuine reporters were given an 800 number to call in and listen.

It reminds me of Orson Wells's infamous War of the Worlds broadcast.

It's nice to know that FEMA employees know enough about technology to fake a conference call, but the whole process appears to be lacking any sense of ethical grounding, reaching a new low of perfidy, even for the Bush administration, hitherto noted for taking 1st prize in the morality limbo Olympics.

The White House chastised the FEMA employees and the chief of Homeland Security, Michael Chertoff, also verbally scolded them.

I probably would have sent them to jail or at least lined up the ringleaders including the Admiral of all Vices Johnson who clearly should have known better and had them conduct a real press conference in which the idiots could publicly take the blame and apologize to the public.

Responsible confession is more soothing to the soul than faceless accusations followed by minimal or no meaningful punitive action.

Posted on October 28, 2007

The temperature of Hong Kong

by David Holtzman

I'm traveling this week in Hong Kong and I as I was walking through the airport, a guard asked me to take off my hat. I asked why and she said that it was because they had automatic temperature scanners. They were remotely scanning for fevers for SARs.

I"m not sure how I feel about this. Technology is wonderful, I think. What if I had a fever, though?

Posted on October 26, 2007

Halloween Coulter

by David Holtzman

I just wondered what Ann Coulter would look like as a skeleton.

Posted on October 24, 2007

Money for nothing and beer for free

by David Holtzman

I didn't do it, but if I did I'd be admitting it. Paul Croucher, the owner of the Croucher Brewing company in New Zealand came up with an unusual way of getting his stolen laptop back--free beer for life. Apparently a vandal broke a lock, got into the office and nabbed the computer which had some of the company's financial information on it.

I realize that this story has absolutely nothing to do with privacy and is only marginally connected to technology, but is kind of interesting.

Posted on October 23, 2007

Right hotel, wrong network

by David Holtzman

Staying at a hotel in Vancouver this week, I had an unusual and disquieting experience. I took out my laptop and looked for Wi-Fi networks and found a ton; several of which could have been from the hotel. I called the desk and confirmed which one was correct. Surprisingly enough, when I picked it and launched a new browser, I got two of them. One was 5 bucks more expensive and they were different 3rd party companies. One had a bill-to-room option and one just wanted a credit card. Curious now, I took some time and talked to hotel staff until I found one who knew what a computer was.

The story was that a fly-by-night company had set up a system in an office across the street from the hotel and was using the hotel's ssid to harvest credit cards. The hotel didn't know how to stop it, so they tolerated it.

Okay, stupid on the hotel's part, but this does bring up a bigger issue about identity. There's no real way of validating ssids or any of the other hundreds of text string-based identity schemes in use across the Internet.

We need a globally interoperable Identity scheme (perhaps OpenID) and somehow need to strike the balance of certain authentication vs. potential government abuse. I'm interested in suggestions.

Posted on October 22, 2007

Viddy well, little brother

by David Holtzman

BoingBoing has a very interesting article on how to tell why an airplane is REALLY late. You do it by checking the disposition of the cargo instead of the passengers. Presumably the airlines lie less about the cargo.

The airline service this year is the worst that I've ever seen. I cringe every time I have to do anything different or unusual. I know that any given flight will be delayed (for the "weather", right?). I know that my luggage will be lost. I know that the flight attendants will be people that were too ugly and mean-spirited to get cast as extras for Shaun of the Dead. I know that the pilot has a pistol and is waiting to use it. I know that every airline employee is newly empowered to be a Clockwork Orange-like thug and vent years of petty grievances on the first protesting passenger's head.

Airlines suck. If any business sector were ever to be nationalized, fixed and spit out for competitive bid, it would be this one.

Posted on October 19, 2007

A bad day in Black Rock

by David Holtzman

Congress has just approved a new Intelligence bill authorizing full immunity for the phone companies for spying on Americans.

Posted on October 18, 2007

The RIAA trips up old people

by David Holtzman

The hoariest content piece of the old Internet that still survives today has to be Usenet, the mother of all bulletin boards. Originally it had it's own protocol with a dedicated port number and it survived by the unique strategy of having its contents passed around from machine to machine (more or less). A user would subscribe to the feed at some cooperative server.

Usenet thrived right up until two immigration lawyers, Kanter and Siegel, spammed it with legal ads, shocking all the old net heads who didn't believe that the Net could be commercialized. The Usenet feed, although still around in academia, has become corporate and distributed for a small subscription fee by the Usenet Corporation, who continued the good works.

Not for too much longer apparently. The Darth Vader of the Internet, the RIAA, has decided that its newest target is the Usenet company. Now Usenet.com does not own copyrighted material, nor store them (well mostly it doesn't); rather it acts as the facilitator for a large, decentralized network.

Because Usenet is decentralized, it would be difficult for the RIAA to sue its users because they can't track the song to the source. So they're suing the service.

When will someone stop these clowns? The RIAA is responsible for a great deal of frivolous litigation. And remember the RIAA is protecting the interests of the distributors and not the recording artists. Several artists like Nine Inch Nails and Tori Amos have broken with the traditional music industry over issues like these and disgust at the growing percentage of the take raked in by the distributor instead of the artist.

Posted on October 17, 2007

Verizon was only following orders

by David Holtzman

That good old phone company is back at it again. Whether you call it Ma Bell, C&P telephone or Verizon, they've been hard at work since 9/11 cooperating with the government by giving them details of your phone and internet transactions, even in compliance with illegal or seriously dubious requests.

The latest scoop is revealed in a letter that Verizon sent to Congress explaining that the company sent consumer information to the federal government "hundreds" of times without a court order. Of course, Verizon went on to explain; these were "emergency" cases.

Not only did Verizon provide the details of any given call, they provided a list of everyone that the target had called. But wait...there's more. They also provided a list of everyone that that person who had been called had called. So if a suspected terrorist had called me for some reason (wrong number, political contribution, ?) my entire calling history would have been turned over to the feds. Without a court order. But hey, it was an emergency. How did Verizon know? Because the government told them it was. The telco testified that they never validated the emergency because it wasn't their business to do so.

Oh by the way, the Republican powers-that-be are desperately trying to get the phone companies blanket and unconditional immunity from litigation or prosecution from these kinds of acts. I will not vote for any candidate that supports this bill.

Posted on October 16, 2007

Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes

by David Holtzman

May the farce be with you. The NY Times has an article today about the creators of a series of Youtube videos starring Darth Vader's little brother Chad, who has most of Darth's powers, but for some reason works as the day shift manager in a grocery store. Here's the link to the first episode.

I confess that I've been watching these videos since they came out--they're hilarious. Chad using his Jedi mind power to telekinetically pick up fruit and generally making announcements about everyday events in that Darthish, stentorian voice, (Best line: "I command you to bring us baskets of bread!")

Apparently the two guys, Matt Sloan and Aaron Yonda, are being courted by Hollywoodish types who are offering to fund their future projects. Of course, as you would expect, they started on a shoestring and haven't yet made it to the shoes.

This is a powerful feature of the "new Web 2.0" Internet that is often ignored, although Lord knows, there's plenty of evidence. The starmaking machinery of a huge social networks cannot be ignored. It's interesting to see it develop, not as a funnel for advertising dollars from Hollywood, but still rewarding do-it-yourselfers. For every American Idol, there's a Chad Vader...just a couple of guys with a light saber and after-hours access to a supermarket.

The lesson here, if there is one, is that social networks have to believe in the quality to propagate the buzz. It's like a big mosh pit and big money scams will be dropped if they are discovered (take that lonelygirl15).

Posted on October 15, 2007

Google's Paltrey Privacy Protection

by David Holtzman

I have an op-ed in Business Week Online today discussing Google's proposed international privacy standard.

Posted on October 12, 2007

George Clooney violated by 40 doctors

by David Holtzman

One of the problems that privacy zealots have in explaining privacy problems is that it sounds a little conspiratorial. LIke who would really look at your credit report or your medical record? Well, maybe you're not famous enough. Like George Clooney, for instance.

Clooney was involved in a motorcycle accident in New Jersey last month and broke a rib. He was treated at the Palisades medical center in North Bergen and released. Afterwards a scandal broke out when it was discovered that his confidential medical records were passed around the hospital. Over 40 doctors supposedly looked at Clooney's record and several lesser functionaries were suspended for a week without pay as punishment.

The lesson? If you enable people to snoop on others and make it interesting enough, they'll do it. So what will happen when Jessica Alba walks in front of one of those to-the-skin x-ray machines that TSA is installing in airports?

The solution? Toe the line punitively and treat every case of privacy violation and inappropriate data access seriously. Kudos to the hospital although they might want to whack a couple of doctors too.

Posted on October 11, 2007

Don't take AT&T off the hook

by David Holtzman

Much of the privacy bally-hoo comes down to trust. People who worry about the application of some particular technology do not trust the owners/employers; either the ones today or the ones to come. People who don't worry quite so much are trusters. They believe in the system and they have observed throughout their life that the really dreaded conspiracy things never really materialize.

Neither side is absolutely right, of course. Like all conundrums and tootsie pops, the part to chew on lies in the middle. The Bush administration, as bad as they have been, never did anything that bad with their expanded espionage powers, although they certainly could have. We are not living in an Orwellian police state. Yet, there is no denying that we have moved several exits closer to the Orwelllian rest stop. If an ill-minded person were to come in power, she would be able to bad things with the technology fast, with no checks and balances on her behavior. So the worry-warts are right, too. Even if Bush is reliable and his people self-constrained in their use of these expanded powers, the next person coming along may not be.

Our job, as Americans, is to figure out how to navigate between this Scylla and Charybdis. I would suggest that we start with accountability. It's important to be able to evaluate a privacy-deadening program, after its inception which means we need an audit trail and we must eventually have a day in the light to discuss what happened, even if after the fact.

To this end, the telecommunications industry islobbying to get immunity for their role in cooperating with the government's illegal wiretapping should be rejected. Let's see how outraged we are when we hear the truth, then we'll discuss immunity. If they, as patriots, did what they thought at the time was the right thing, then they must stand behind their actions today. They are no different than the police officer or the army non-com who takes an action that they think is right, ignoring the personal consequences if it is later found that they acted inappropriately. Patriots are willing to die for their country if need be and do not require immunity.

Posted on October 10, 2007

Osamiam

by David Holtzman

I'm Osam
I'm Osam
Osam I am

That Osam-I-am!
Than Osam-I-am!
I cannot find that Osam-I-am!

Do you like my sham Islam?

I do not like them,
Osam-I-am.
I do not like your
sham Islam.

Would you like a
terrorist scare?

I would not like it
here or there.
I would not like terrorism
anywhere.
I do not like your sham islam.
I do not like them
Osam-I-am.

Would you like it in a plane?
Do you think I"m quite insane?

I do not like it in a plane.
I definitely think that you're insane.
I do not like it here or there,
I hate your terrorism
anywhere.
I do not like your sham Islam.
I do not like them
Osam-I-am.

Can you find me in a tree?
Where I am's a mystery.
Hint: try searching every flier
rectally.

You will not find me in a tree
Where I am's a mystery
You will not find me in a plane
I am, you know, quite insane.
You will not find me
here or there.
You'll find my terrorism
everywhere.
You will like my true Islam
You won't find me, Osam-I-am.

Posted on October 09, 2007

Slimy patriotism

by David Holtzman

Good for Obama. Coming on the heels of some obviously disheartening polling results that he is getting the crap kicked out of him by Hillary, Barack has said one of the most honest things that I've ever seen a politician quoted as saying--he has not worn an American flag pin since 9/11 because:

"Somebody noticed I wasn't wearing a flag lapel pin and I told folks, well you know what? I haven't probably worn that pin in a very long time. I wore it right after 9/11/ But after a while, you start noticing people wearing a lapel pin, but not acting very patriotic. Not voting to provide veterans with resources that they need. Not voting to make sure that disability payments were coming out on time."

I am a big, big fan of this sentiment. Since 9/11, the leechtoads have crawled out of the woodwork in this country, croaking patriotic sentiments as they initiate and defend unpatriotic actions such as torture and espionage against our own citizens. An enameled bit of worn metal does not remove these sins any more than a deathbed confession and last rites will send a murderer or lawyer to heaven.

Posted on October 05, 2007

Bill Clinton prepares for his new role

by David Holtzman

A new Washington Post/ABC poll shows that in a hypothetical match-up, Senator Clinton would beat Giuliani in a general election by an 8 point margin. The same poll also showed that Americans view President Clinton as an asset to his wife's campaign. That's not too surprising--people like Bill Clinton. Especially now in comparison to who's been running the country for the last 7 years.

It's too early for these numbers to mean much. Lots of things haven't happened yet. There haven't be any major debates, no primaries, no real scandals or campaign flame-outs. Plus the mighty media machine hasn't really ground down any candidates for kicks yet.

But it is interesting to see Obama's campaign die off a bit and watch Senator Edwards, who has worked so hard to become President, slip back into the legal ooze that he reached out from.

For the first time today, I have seriously thought about what it means to have Hillary Rodham Clinton as President and to have Slick Willie as First Spouse. It's not a bad future, but it would certainly be different than Georgie is today.

I think that it would mean:

1. We'd stay in Iraq. Any president is stuck with that legacy now.
   
2. There'd probably be another attempt to fix the national health care system
   
3. The gossip tabloids would absolutely go nuts. The blessed silence that was the roar of Bill Clinton's sex life would manifest again. As well as the old speculations about Hillary's.
   

Posted on October 04, 2007

Toy-Air

by David Holtzman

The TSA has decided to pay extra security to remote control toys at airports. This came about partially because there has been a growing wealth of anecdotal evidence implicating remote controls in car bombs and other nefarious terrorist plots.

TSA has decided not to ban these toys and their remotes, but will be paying extra attention to them. This will bring about what I am going to coin a term for: DASSLE: Delay & Hassle. And who wants that? They claim that they will be ignoring TV remote controls and garage door openers, but really, how can they differentiate between them?

I can't blame TSA for this. It's a reasonable precaution, but there are many reasonable precautions. There are too many normal household things that can be used for terrorist acts by well, terrorists.

The ultimate solution is to force us all to strip and change into coveralls, locking our goods and clothes into bomb-proof storage containers that fly in the hold. Unpleasant and we'll all look like we're in Conair, but that may ultimately prove to be what it takes to make us truly safe (other than from lost bags, delayed flights, no food and appallingly rude customer service).

Posted on October 02, 2007

Tom Cruise--Real-life assassin?

by David Holtzman

David Hans Schmidt was found dead in Phoenix this week. Mr. Schmidt is best known for his numerous attempts to extort celebrities. He was the one who sold the infamous Dustin Diamond ("Screech" in Saved by the Bell) sex tape, the Tonya Harding wedding video and most recently, tried to squeeze $1 million out of Tom Cruise.

Mr. Schmidt was found dangling from his shower road in his bathroom. The stall was so tight and the rod was so low that he had to squat down to choke himself.

Schmidt was on house arrest and wore an anklet until his courtroom case next month.

He was ostensibly the "go-to" guy for celebrity blackmail and was one of the ones who helped shape this bizarre famous people peeping market that's emerged coincident with the rise of surveillance technology. Although in almost every case (Pamela Anderson, Rob Lowe, Paris Hilton), the targets taped themselves with their own recorders.

An alternative take on this story is that the apparently fruitcake Cruz is in fact, more competent than he lets on and that the couch-jumping, Scientology thing is really an act. Perhaps he is actually a government assassin and decided to clean up his own mess by hanging Schmidt and making it look like suicide.

Nah.

Posted on October 01, 2007