PopCulture

 

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Bam

by David Holtzman

Martha Stewart is buying Emeril Lagasse. The Martha business empire is buying most of Emeril, the TV shows, the cookbooks and the cooking equipment. It does not include Emeril's restaurants. The deal is worth at least $45, maybe up to $70 million.

This deal illustrates how valuable well-known intellectual property is today. Emeril or Martha's kissers are instantly recognizable and thus can be used to push pots, pans or towels. Nothing is more valuable than a fake celebrity; whether it's a celebrity chef, a pop singer, an athlete or even a highly-strung upper-class homemaker that's done jail time.

Posted on February 20, 2008

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Celebrity kids

by David Holtzman

Britney Spears is supposed to be back in court today for a major hearing in regards her visitation rights. For anyone who successfully ducked the story, Ms. Spears was forced by police and EMTs to surrender her kids to Kevin Federline on January 3rd at the end of her visitation. Although that might sound touching, it should be noted that at least one of the babies was locked alone in a room during the altercation.

The Britney-child saga has been going on for at least a year. Spears has repeatedly done drugs, handled the children in a dangerous manner (driving them without a car seat), acted like a complete ho and has not exhibited the slightest trace of good parenting.

As a reaction, the authorities have slowly removed her control over her children...first legal, then joint custody, then limitations on visitation.

Yet she still ends up with her kids frequently and the court takes a lot of time to repeatedly hear her motions (for many of which she doesn't show up).

Why are celebrities given this kind of treatment in regards children?

Sure, give them a free super-size holster of fries at Burger King, but never comp them with children. Remember Michael Jackson waving his child out a hotel window at photographers?

I went through some pretty messy child custody issues myself years ago, for much of which I defended myself. Things worked out in my case, but the experience was not a high point in my life. It sensitizes me to this issue. I boil when I see the celebrity treatment being applied in a custody case. And make no mistake about this, If Britney was a moneyless, minority woman, she would have gotten at best, one chance in court and would probably be under investigation for child abuse by the Child Protective Service.

Take her kids away and throw her ass in a real jail if she gets withing 100 yards of them for the next few years. Give them a chance to grow up.

****
Update: She didn't show for the hearing

Posted on January 14, 2008

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Tom Cruise--Real-life assassin?

by David Holtzman

David Hans Schmidt was found dead in Phoenix this week. Mr. Schmidt is best known for his numerous attempts to extort celebrities. He was the one who sold the infamous Dustin Diamond ("Screech" in Saved by the Bell) sex tape, the Tonya Harding wedding video and most recently, tried to squeeze $1 million out of Tom Cruise.

Mr. Schmidt was found dangling from his shower road in his bathroom. The stall was so tight and the rod was so low that he had to squat down to choke himself.

Schmidt was on house arrest and wore an anklet until his courtroom case next month.

He was ostensibly the "go-to" guy for celebrity blackmail and was one of the ones who helped shape this bizarre famous people peeping market that's emerged coincident with the rise of surveillance technology. Although in almost every case (Pamela Anderson, Rob Lowe, Paris Hilton), the targets taped themselves with their own recorders.

An alternative take on this story is that the apparently fruitcake Cruz is in fact, more competent than he lets on and that the couch-jumping, Scientology thing is really an act. Perhaps he is actually a government assassin and decided to clean up his own mess by hanging Schmidt and making it look like suicide.

Nah.

Posted on October 01, 2007

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If I stole it...OJ takes another stab at celebrity

by David Holtzman

Q: What does OJ Simpson have in common with Richard Nixon?
A: They both tape themselves

Sorry that wasn't funny, but it is kind of bizarre, isn't it? Two people, beleaguered, besieged and more or less hated by a lot of people who allow, no--encourage, tapes around themselves. Why would they do this? (funnier answer: They're both Dicks)

I can only assume that unpopular, yet famous people long for vindication more than anything (other than not being in jail maybe). I knew that politicians often take refuge in the idea of historical reputation wiping, but I guess all celebrities must console themselves that way sometimes.

It's interesting that as sensors pop up everywhere, people willingly invade their own privacy and tape themselves (or allow themselves to be taped). I suppose that it's similar to the invasion of the reality shows. If OJ goes to jail for real on these theft charges and the main evidence is that tape, how ironic (and stupid) will that have been? You can hear OJ here.
---
Okay , here are my favorite OJ jokes:


How do you find O.J. on the Internet?
Type : slash...backslash...backslash...backslash...escape

What did St. Peter say to Nicole Simpson when she got to heaven?
Your waiter will be along in a minute.

Q: What did O.J. ask after acquittal?
A: To be moved to Arkansas.
Why?
Because he heard that everyone has the same DNA there.

Q. What's the difference between John F. Kennedy and Nicole Simpson?
A. We're not 100% sure who killed JFK.

Posted on September 19, 2007

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Harried Harry Hurtles Hurdles and Hurries to Harrods

by David Holtzman

As the literate Western world anxiously awaits the delivery of the new Harry Potter book on the 21st, some educational researchers are claiming that the books are not the panacea for improving children's' reading as many have claimed.

Studies are showing that even though many, many children will read a Harry Potter book, their subsequent interest in reading will taper off until it's about where it would have been anyway sans Potter. The Times article offers several plausible reasons why this might be true. The books are getting longer (going from 309 to the upcoming Deathly Hallows784 pages). Nonwhite children have trouble relating to the lily-white world of Harry and the gang (yes, I know that there's a child of color that announces the Quidditch matches and Harry gets to kiss a young Asian girl, but the major characters come out of a Wonder Bread bag.) The Times goes on to point out that appreciating narrative fiction may not be a good goal anyway, since most jobs require a working ability to quickly read and synthesize nonfiction or factual information, such as from the Internet.

I like the Harry Potter books and even if they don't significantly alter the national reading statistics, they're of some value. For one thing, they have undoubtedly inspired hundreds, if not thousands of would-be J.K. Rowlings who want to write the next fantasy book. For another, they add a new, modern classic to the pantheon of the Western world's children's literature, inspiring hope in generations of young Harrys, neglected by their family and figuratively living under a stairs, waiting for their Hagred to come and give them their birthright. How many of us that had bad childhoods don't think that someday, somewhere, we'd found out that we were more important than we had been treated hithero up to now? The magic of Harry Potter is delivering the message to children that they are special.

Posted on July 11, 2007

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Scooters in Paradise

by David Holtzman

Scooter Libby's jail sentence was commuted yesterday by President Bush, who gleefully claimed that he made the decision by himself in the same tone that my young kids used to use about solo potty endeavors.

Paris Hilton was forced to serve two weeks in jail for driving with a suspended license (twice). Scooter was sentenced for lying to a Grand Jury, although ostensibly he was being investigated for outing Valerie Plame, a CIA agent.

To me, both sentences seem harsh. TMZ makes the comparison today, citing their own polling showing that 90% of the 120,000 people who responded, believed that Paris should serve the time and 60% felt the same way about Scooter.

I could care less about Paris Hilton. It sounds to me like she got sentenced because of an attitude that wealthy celebrities often have, that somehow normal rules don't apply to them. Maybe her short sojourn in the slammer will put a scare into the 'A' list, although somehow I doubt it. I suspect that that the real outcome will be a maturing change in Paris...no one can do that kind of jail time and emerge unscathed. She was probably terrified every minute she was there and I can empathize with the fear that she must have had using the unsheltered toilet in front of dozens of hard-core, highly amused prisoners.

Scooter Libby is part of an elite group of draft-dodging, yet war-mongering scofflaws. He and his boss, the aptly named "Dick" Cheney were part of that ol' white-boy sing along that we call the Iraqi War. I think that Scooter should go to jail for something, if nothing else, for being the VP's buttboy. Lying to a Grand Jury is a serious thing, but in Bill Clinton's case, it seemed to be used as a political tool to get at someone you don't like. Now that I think of it, the same argument applies to Scooter. Scooter's recent sentence commutation by President Bush, was, however, a travesty of justice. Harsh sentence or not, we do not all have friends like 'W' who can wave their wand and keep us out of jail. As rich and famous as she is, Paris could not avoid jail time. Since Scooter was effectively covering Bush and Cheney's ample white asses, it seems as if they should have not been able to issue him a get-out-of-jail-free card.

Paris and Scooter. Scooter and Paris. Forever locked in our memories as two badboys caught and over-sentenced in the year of crime. Who would have ever guessed that out of the two, the one who would do jail time would be the flighty socialite with a moving violation?


Posted on July 04, 2007

Kim Basinger ate my dog

by David Holtzman

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If anyone hasn't heard this yet, you might want to. Alec Baldwin yells at his 11 year old daughter because she doesn't have her phone turned on at the agreed upon time. The audio is pretty harsh and you can hear it here along with his explanation. Apparently the kid's voicemail "mysteriously" showed up on the web.

Baldwin is a well-known actor who has lately been showing a flair for comedy in several movies and tv shows like 30 Rock. His ex-wife is Kim Basinger, a has-been actress. They have been fighting a very public, very contested custody fight for the last year or so. Basinger has repeatedly defied the court, even being charged with contempt for violating judge's orders for visitation.

Okay, I was a single father caught up in custody shenanigans and I understand how rough it can get. On the other hand, he calls her a pig.

So who's to blame?

Easy. Kim Basinger.

People lose their temper in the height of domestic arguing and while not justified or nice or even responsible, it happens. But what occurs inside the family stays in the family. Basinger (for who else would have done it?) putting her daughter's humiliation and shame on display for the world may get some nice smug witchie points with the judge but at what cost to her daughter's eventual emotional well-being? Some day the kid will reconcile with her father and there will always be this between them. I detest people who play this game with kids during custody cases.

My heart goes out to Alec Baldwin who at least deserves the time with his daughter to make his mistakes in person and not have to pour out his anger at his ex-wife on his daughter's answering machine.

Posted on April 20, 2007

Imussed up

by David Holtzman

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Sigh. Another talk icon self-immolates. I refer of course, to Don Imus, who referred to the Rutger's women's basketball team as "nappy-headed hos" and then refused to back down or apologize for days. I have not seen pictures of the team, but I am guessing from the outcry that the team is composed predominantly of African-American women. MSNBC suspended the talkshow host for two weeks, a penalty that Imus agrees with apparently, now that he's newly contrite.

I wonder at these talk show hosts; on the radio, day in and day out 20 some days a month, 12 months a year. Something has to slip out. How can anyone be glib and spontaneous and not screw up? Although the screwup in question is racial, there is no supporting evidence to suggest that Imus is racist. Just an old talk show host running off at the mouth a little too long and making a public comment that should have been expressed in private, or perhaps not at all.

Is it that we all make these little nonPC cracks and Imus got caught? What he said was hardly on the par with some great blunders of the last few decades where public figures made comments about minority groups that did expose underlying prejudices. In an era of hip-hop with the 'N' word being used as a condiment, is is possible that the very brittle social walls that seperate those who can say certain words and those who cannot, have started to crumble?

Posted on April 10, 2007

Start me up

by David Holtzman

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Keith Richards snorted his father's ashes mixed with cocaine.

There's no social significance to this and certainly no technology hooks...I'm just impressed and appalled.

When asked about his seemingly suicidal, devil-may-care lifestyle, Richards was quoted as saying: "I was No. 1 on the who's likely to die list for 10 years. I mean, I was really disappointed when I fell off the list."

Posted on April 04, 2007

Lisa or Colleen?

by David Holtzman

I should be writing about privacy. I'm incensed at the latest abuses of the Bush administration like the wholesale defenestration of supposedly independent US Attorneys. Or perhaps about the growing public awareness that the Patriot Act has been used like a four-leaf clover by the FBI? Or my growing conviction that Congress will roll back part of the Patriot Act this year?

I could be writing about technology. The new iTV from Apple comes out in a few weeks after some slippage. The iPhone is kicking up huge amounts of rumor dirt. Windows Vista--good times to be had by all or is it the ground glass in the Evian?

But today I'm fascinated by pop events, which somehow seem to weave in and out of tech. Britney cut off her hair. Justin dumps Cameron Diaz. Angelina Jolie creates the first adoption option, reserving the right to claim an unborn baby to be named later.

So here's my question of the day, along with the immortal "Ginger or Maryann" question, is Lisa or Colleen? LIsa is of course, Lisa Nowak, the infamous Navy Captain that apparently attempted to kidnap Colleen Shipman because Shipman was romantically involved with Commander Bill Oefelein. All three are (were in the case of Nowak) astronauts. Oefelein was married at the time of his affair with Nowak and had two children. Nowak is still married and has three children.

Study the pictures carefully please...LISA or COLLEEN?


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Posted on March 13, 2007

My g-g-generation is b-b-bald

by David Holtzman

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I went to see the Who last night in Washington, DC. They were amazing. I had seen them 25 years ago and although the show was different, the driving sound and experience was the same (except for the almost nonexistent odor of pot, of course.) The untimely death of John Entwhistle in 2002 has left a hole in the sound, but still...Daltrey looked like a young Michael Caine, jumping, singing and hitting high notes. Pete Townsend looks his age, but as he snarled to the audience, he wouldn't have it any other f-ing way.

Townsend is 62. Daltrey is 63. Together they are 125 years old.

I found the lyrics to My Generation especially ironic:

People try to put us d-down Just because we g-g-get around Things they do look awful c-c-cold Yeah, I hope I die before I get old

The audience was full of aging stoners who had brought their kids to see what is undoubtedly one of the best rock groups ever. I wonder if some day people will bring their kids to see an aging, bearded Britney Spears and a fat, bald Justin Timberlake. Uggh.

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Posted on March 09, 2007

School for scandal

by David Holtzman

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What would it take to have another juicy scandal in this Age of the Internet? With the exhibitionist celebrities that we read about today, it seems that no event can surprise us, solely based on the event. For evidence, I present the bizarre sage of the self-destruction of Britney Spears, who craves media attention so badly that she's been photographed repeatedly sliding out of cars while wearing miniskirts and no panties and most recently shaved her head bald. How about Mel Gibson ranting about Jews when pulled over in his car or Michael Richards using the 'N' word more than a rap song? Any of these would have destroyed a career before say, 1990.

It's not the event that causes a scandal, IMHO, it's the person. No one was surprised at Mel Gibson's anti-semitic sweet talk because of Passion of the Christ. The richness of the scandal comes from hypocricy.

The more that a person holds themselves morally above others, the more that we want to see them fall...hard. Robert Downey, Jr gets our sympathy for his drug usage, while Rush Limbaugh did not. Bill Clinton was shredded for his sexual proclivities whereas Paris Hilton is celebrated for it.

Now I'm thinking about how this applies to politics. When politicans position themselves as against something, they become vulnerable to an attack at that spot. That's why so many scandals involve politicians. Now that we're moving into an election year, what would be scandal worthy?

Firstly, it must involve a front-runner. The other thing about scandals is that no one cares about an unknown miscreant. If Nicole Ritchie gets pulled over for DUI over the weekend (she did), it's a scandal. If it happens to me, it's a crime.

Secondly, it must be something that if true, derides the target's character and makes them seem at best a hypocrite, at worst a crook.

Thirdly, it must play into our popular perception of their weaknesses. Many people claim that Hillary Clinton is a lesbian, so a scandal with another woman would be the sweet spot. An allegation that she had a male friend would probably not derail her campaign--some might even call it justified.

The Internet has raised the bar for scandals...we now want proof. There are so many video cameras out there, that we expect to see pictures and video or we will not believe it. Therefore the good scandals will have video.

I expect to see some good scandals in this election year...stay tuned.

Posted on February 19, 2007

Preaching to the online damned

by David Holtzman

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How come there hasn't been a church of the Internet yet? It would seem to be fertile ground for the religously needy. What other medium would give a religion the potential to pump live video and audio into every middle-class house in the world simultaneously, translated realtime into the appropriate language? It doesn't even have to be simple broadcast--the internet allows for interactivity. [Good idea: What about integrating the Nintendo WII system into an interactive religous broadcast so parishoners can sit back and smite animated Satans with the controller as the minister preaches?] And let's not forget the vast potential to solicit donations. Someone could build a site that had a religous preachy video window front and center, a scrolling chat session of realtime hosannas on the left and a click here to donate icon on the right. Once the church got the poor schlub's financial information, it could be set up like Amazon's OneClick (well, not close enough for patent infringement, of course) and spur the parishoner on to click the collection button every time there's an amen or something.

I almost wonder if it's wrong of me to even speculate on this, because someone might do it.

We can laugh about this now, but I have no doubt that the next major religion to come along is going to make Scientology look like Yoga class because it's going to be on the Internet and sticky as hell.

There was one net religion...it was called the Church of the SubGenius and was very tied in a hidden way into pop culture in the 60s and 70s. For more info, here's the Wikipedia article. Their symbol is the picture prefacing this blog entry.

One reason that this may not have happened yet is because the target market--susceptible people who watch evangelist television--are probably just getting on the Internet. So the time is probably right.

Well, if anyone wants to make a lot of money the easy way and get into heaven, drop me a line.


Posted on February 16, 2007

Squarebobbing for avatars

by David Holtzman

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Virtual worlds fascinate me. Creators of these "matrices" seem to be going in two directions right now--horizontally sweeping and vertically targeted. The former case is perhaps best typified by Second Life. Horizontal worlds are a big, digital sandbox in which the inhabitants can do what they might do (or wish they were doing) in the real world, except they'll be thinner and better-looking when they do it.

Vertical worlds can be aimed at a particular demographic or an interest area. The latter would include most of the MMORPGs such as World of Warcraft. It also includes topical entertainment worlds such as the ill-fated Matrix Online, tied in to the movie.

The newest entry in the specialized category is aimed at young kids and is sponsored by Nickelodeon. It's called Nicktropolis. This world allows kids the ability to interact with their favorite Nick characters like Jimmy Neutron and SpongeBob Squarepants. The network claims that it's amied at 6-14 year olds and that they've protected the kids by not requesting personally identifiable information and notifying the parents when their progeny joins up.

They will, however, be showing the kids real advertisements in the virtual world.

Where's it headed?

IMHO, we can't handle too many of these virtual worlds because the identity and financial logistics would get too hairy at some point. If people go through the effort of creating their virtual personas, they're cerrtainly not going to want to do them over again every time a new movie comes out or they pick up a new hobby.

This screams for identity interoperability--where avatars and pseudonymous identities are independent of any one world and certain personal metainformation is owned by YOU, the consumer, not by the company. If I spend hours designing an avatar in Second Life, why can't I use it in Nicktropolis?

By the way, for the record, if some kid created a persona in Nickworld and named it "Squarepants", even without the anatomically suggestive "Spongebob" part, it would almost certainly be censored by the publisher.


Posted on January 30, 2007

Hot manatee sex

by David Holtzman

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I always wondered about those fake domain names mentioned in TV shows and movies. Like where someone makes a joke and ends up referring the listener to [whatever].com? Well, here's a good example of a comic that did make that kind of a joke and ended up buying the name and putting some funny content on the site. Conan O'Brien made a crack about "manatee sex" and according to CNET, his writers ran out before it aired, bought the name "hornymanatee.com" and set up a site.

It's hilarious.

Posted on December 12, 2006

The skulduggery of Iron Chefs

by David Holtzman

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I'm so disillusioned. Apparently, Iron Chef contestants are not completely surprised by the mystery ingredients. And I love that show, because watching white-toqued chefs kill giant octopuses with meat cleavers is my idea of entertaining television. For those who have never partaken of the culinary freak show that is Iron Chef, a guest chef competes with a series regular in cooking a multi-course meal based on a single ingredient, often still alive. The ingredients are sometimes common like chicken breasts, but more often exotic or bizarre like a live sea creature of some kind. According to MSNBC, the chefs are given a list of '5' possible items prior to the show, giving them the chance to prepare a gamut of relevant recipes instead of having to generate them ad hoc.

Next thing you'll be telling me is that American Idol judges sleep with contestants.

Posted on October 26, 2006

Hot soup, hot damn

by David Holtzman

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There's a new opinion site in town this week. It's called Hotsoup and it was started by several political consultants as a way of getting well-known consultants like Donna Brazile or Ed Gillespie even more out in the open, huckstering their worn and comfortable opinions in the context of a debate.

Other than the excessive use of flash, the biggest problem that I have with this site is their mistaken belief that opinion leaders on the Internet will be the same boring talking heads that we've had to watch on television. Why is this wrong? Because these type of politicos and pundits are....boring. Yes. They are not entertaining, with the possible exception of James Carville, whose accent and bald head are a universally appealing combination.

The future opinion leaders of the new media are the pseuds, the pseudonymous trend-setters who develop their own constituencies by being entertaining. We see this on television with reality shows and on the net with people like Drudge and the founders of the Daily Koz and Wonkette. They're not right and they're not prescient. They're entertaining and that can make all the difference.

I highly encourage the hotsoup hierophants to encourage new opinion leaders and eschew the treadworn. Ask me how...I have opinions:)

Posted on October 19, 2006

Bully for you

by David Holtzman

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Take Two Interactive gaming company, best known for the uber-brutal Grand Theft Auto (GTA) series has been in the gunsight of conservative gunsights ever since the infamous "Hot Coffee" mod to GTA3 appalled many nongamers with its simulated (I think) sex scenes. (writer's caveat: GTA3 is my favorite Xbox game)

The new and highly anticipated Rockstar (a subsidiary of TakeTwo) game due to come out next month is called "Bully" and is the story of a young man at a prep school that has to defend himself against bullies. Not, apparently, with guns and flamethrowers, but with household stuff. Conservative lawyer Floridian Jack Thompson has successfully persuaded Judge Friedman to injoin Rockstar from releasing the game while the content is "evaluated" based on Florida's public nuisance law. Starting tomorrow at 3Pm, the Judge and Jack will watch the game being played (or maybe play it?) until they can evaluate whether it is truly a "Columbine simulater", the way Mr. THompson has been alleging.

Wow. I can't believe that this is happening. If God loves a lunatic, he must visit Florida every summer. Lucky for TakeTwo it's this game and not the last one, for reporters who have seen advance copies of the game have all said that it's nonviolent and does not glorify bullies. Still, it's chilling that guys like this get to somehow "rule" on the content of entertainment prior to release. I would imagine that the same argument could be applied to music and videos. Even if the game is socially unredeemable, I would support the company's right to sell it, although I'm sure that there's a line somewhere, some sort of video-Skokie where I would have a problem with its release.


Posted on October 12, 2006

No Moss- The Rolling Stones in Halifax

by David Holtzman

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I see dead people. Well, at least old ones. On Saturday evening I saw four aging rock and roll stars turn back metabolic time and put on a hell of a good show. The Rolling Stones took to the stage in Halifax, Nova Scotia and proved that they still have it. Opening up with Paint It Black and closing with I Can't Get No Satisfaction, they hit their biggest and baddest top 40 tunes, but also rocked on some great album songs like Monkey Man and Silver and Gold. And of course, the eye-popping technology. More about that in a second.

Watching them play their 19 song set, I thought about how much things had changed from when I first started going to concerts. For one thing, the 50,000+ member audience was split evenly between baby boomers like me and the 18-30 year old crowd. Part of that may have been due to Kanye West opening up for the Stones, but clearly the majority were not there to see Kanye (or Alice Cooper). There was a little old lady in front of us that was at least 90 and had been taken to the show by her granddaughter. I should also mention that it rained through the entire concert and was cold in way that only the Maritimes can get. I think that the old lady might have bought it during Jumping Jack Flash, at least she stopped moving.

The rock group had pyrotechnics, a huge inflatable tongue and a bizarre hydraulic stage that actually moved out into the middle of the crowd at one point in the concert, but nothing that I hadn't seen at Blue Oyster Cult concerts twenty years ago.

Ironically, the most evident example of advanced technology at the show were the Stones themselves. I stared incredulously as the Brit rockers danced, pranced and leaped across the massive stage for two hours straight. These people are grandparents, for crissake. Keith Richards, who looked well-worn, but vibrant, could be a poster child for recreational drug use. The fact that this man looked that good after over 40 years of being a human crash test dummy for the underground pharmaceutical industry is a testament to high-tech medical advances.

The Stones are wealthy, powerful people and presumably are the recipients of state-of-the-art medical care, as much as anyone short of the Pope. Their mobility is obviously the result of unfettered access to medical technology--ambulation and spriteliness in your 6th, going on 7th decade of life. As I approach my own 5th decade, I feel better somehow.

I think of my own grandparents when I was in school, wispy white hair, no muscle tone and clearly old, mentally and physicallly. They were younger then than Mick Jagger is today.

And of course it was the best rock and roll concert that I'd seen in a long, long time.


Posted on September 25, 2006

Bunny hop to myspace

by David Holtzman

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Wired has an article about Christine Dolci, aka "ForBiddeN" (whatever that means). Ms. Dolci's claim to fame is that she is the first sex figure to come out of MySpace.

After amassing over a million "friends" on the social networking site, Ms. Dolci was able to parley her online popularity into a Playboy photo spread, an ad campaign for distressed jeans and an appearance in a body spray commercial.

If there was any lingering doubt that Myspace-like sites were another leg on the pop culture millipede, this should dispel it. Now that people know that they can use these social networks to become famous, they will. Like American Idol, technology has been the fairy godmother making Andy Warhol's dreams about fleeting fame for the proletariat come true.

Posted on September 08, 2006

You too, you tube

by David Holtzman

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YouTube provides food for thought. At a 50,000 foot level, the idea that there is a site where you post videos and people can look at them, doesn't sound very appealing. But like many other Internet capabilities, the features are in the usage, not in the description. The best technology is often "best" because its users find new ways to employ it--often in a manner not thought of by the designers. Youtube is a good candidate for this model, because it's being used as an angsty sort of zeitgeist, where budding auteurs can post their flicks.

The funniest stuff is now on Youtube. I've seen several hilarious ones, most notably Chad Vader, day shift manager. It's even made instant celebrities, like Peter, a 79-year old British retiree, who makes videos and grumbles about little bits of life.

The future? It seems as if the next wave of the Internet will be almost instantaneous sharing of snippets of our lives. If they're interesting enough, people will watch them. If they're compelling enough, we will become a celebrity, for a little while.

Posted on August 15, 2006

Wired and wizened

by David Holtzman

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Jeff Taylor, the founder of Monster.com, started a new website service called eons.com. The site is targeted at "50+" users and looks like an older version of myspace or facebook, kind of a snoozester for geezers (ed note: I turn 50 myself this year).

The site offers things like a longevity calendar, a "lifemap" where you can store your life memories (in case you get Alzheimers, I guess) and sex tips for older people.

The weirdest thing, IMHO, is a service that you can sigh up for that I can only call social deathworking. You give them some personal information and they try to figure out who you know that's just died and send you a message telling you so.

The take-home point here is that the Internet is no longer just for nerds, nor is it an extended teenage club. Niches for every age group will be discovered and serviced. There's a lot of money mining gold out of the silver-haired. This site is a good example: 50+ people have the bucks and the time to use a tailored service like this.

A site like this catering to the older crowd might be lucrative too: maybe the billing system could be written so that it would prompt them for an annual subscription every couple months hoping they've forgotten that they've already paid.

Posted on August 02, 2006

Myspace--nothing to laugh about

by David Holtzman

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Myspace is shifting their marketing emphasis into a new area--comedy. MySpace's original "big push" came from emphasizing music. The site provided a forum for little-known or regional bands to showcase their music to a wider audience, driving traffic to the new website. In the parlance of tech companies, music promotion was the "killer app" driving Myspace.

I think that comedy is a shrewd step for them. The comedy market is underserved by comedy clubs and it's interesting to note how influential the Comedy Channel has become with today's youth. There's never been a good way to push comedy and this might very well be it. I expect big things to come out of this. At the very least, it'll be a good way for the next Dane Cook to turn up.

Besides, when the political, international and business news start looking bleak, comedy will be a nice distraction.

Posted on July 19, 2006

What dates movie technology?

by David Holtzman

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I was watching the all-time worst movie ever made Plan 9 from Outer Space the other night and it got me to thinking, why does media representation of technology look oldfashioned so fast?

It's not the clothing really. Barbarella's wardrobe, specifically the stuff on Jane Fonda, still looks hip and vaguely futuristic.

It's not weapons. Star Trek's phasers look a little cheesy, but not bad enough to make you groan.

Sometimes it's the monsters/aliens, but there are plenty of movies that either don't have them or don't show them.

I think that it's the monitors. When you see the blipping of an oscilloscope or an old red LED panel, it immediately dates the movie. Movies like Minority Report were done more cleverly by inventing brand new kinds of computer interfaces (remember the hand-waving search system?)

If you are visually showing the future, don't tip your hand by displaying your past.

Posted on July 07, 2006

See you later, regulator

by David Holtzman

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Republican lawmakers criticized the FTC for not slapping down Take-Two software over the hidden sex scenes in the game Grand Theft Auto San Andreas. The FTC doesn't actually have the authority to do anything, but this has been and apparently will continue to be a hot topic on the Hill.

So what gives? The notorious "hot coffee" mod that unlocked the naughty parts in GTA:San Andreas was anything but easy to install. It took me a couple of hours:) Any kid who can patch a game is learning far more about computers than they're hurt by pixellated simulated sex.

Do we really need to regulate game companies?

I still have trouble believing that nobody wants to regulate data base marketing companies like Choicepoint or Acxiom, who continually bleed hundreds of thousands, even millions of consumer data records all over the Internet, costing God knows how much money and hassle for the victims. But yet, these idiots want to regulate freaking computer games, for God's sake!

I mean, like what parent who had a clue thought that GTA was acceptable for kids WITHOUT the sex mod? We're talking about a game where you make points by carjacking, robbing any and everyone, bitch-slapping hookers and running drugs. But the sex makes it unacceptable? Spare me. Like all forms of censorship, the censors have almost certainly never even seen the game, let alone played it. Dollars to doughnuts they've only seen the sex clip and huffed out of the room.

Priorities, please. We're in a war started because of one of history's biggest lies. Our economy is a mess, partly because of jungle-like, unregulated market sectors ruled by companies like Enron, who whenever they're hungry, just reach out and take a bite of anyone's haunch that happens to be walking by.

Why our legislators spend the duration of one exhaled breath for any reason other than pure politics to talk about this escapes me.

Besides I like the game.

Posted on June 15, 2006

Gameopoly

by David Holtzman

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I'm not sure how to classify this, but trust me, it's significant. A popular online role-playing game, Project Entropia, is offering a cash card that works in ATM machines, but draws its money from the virtual world of the game. link. Yes, that's right. Earn money in this alternative world and then spend it on something real. It also goes the other way around, you have to buy things in the game with real money. A gamer named Jon Jacobs recently bought a space station for $100,000. Yes. A hundred thousand real dollars. He says that he is developing it as an outlet for media companies to sell music and video for players.

So why is this significant? Most baby boomers have never seen one of these before, but they're big business, generating billions of dollars in revenue.

These games are models of the world with fun twists like magic. But most of them have economic systems. If you get ahead you can buy things like furniture, better weapons and bigger houses. Typically these currencies are self-contained, based on points earned in gameplay.

This is different. No one has ever crossed the blood-brain barrier between real and virtual world economies. Like Neil Stephensen's Snowcrash, this helps creates "avatars" or online personnas that have some standing in the cyber world, yet ties to the real one.

This economic cross-over is not only significant, but subversive. Nothing undermines institutional authority more than a new underground economy.

Posted on May 03, 2006

Tupac, too late

by David Holtzman

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The Washington Post has an interesting article talking about the latest teenager trend--wearing customized or "bling" dog tags. Some of these things are iconic, having picture of Jesus or Tupac, some are jewel-encrusted, some are high-tech with multi-colored LEDs.

The idea of faddish design elements among teenagers is hardly new. Remember slap bracelets? What's interesting to me is how fads often serve the purpose of propagating an archetype. Take Shakur for instance. Brutally gunned down almost ten years ago, he' s become this generation's Che or Mao--the counter-culture revolutionary killed for his beliefs. Ignoring for a second the fact that this is hardly true, it's interesting that everyone seems to think that he was a victim of something, killed by a conspiracy of someone for some unknown reason. The fact is that gangstas generally killed each other for turf or money reasons that were hardly altruistic.

Each generation has its archetypical symbols and they say a lot about the underlying culture. Howdy Doody, Tom Mix, Roy Rogers turns to John Wayne, James Dean, Marilyn Monroe, JFK and Elvis. The Vietnam War takes center stage and then the "Keep Truckin'" Mr. Natural, Che, Mao, and the ubiquitious marijuana leaf.

I wonder how this need for tribal symbology will transfer itself onto the web. The fledgling social sites like Myspace and Facebook may, I suspect, become the new gold standard of culture. Tee shirts are too slow, television is faster, but the Internet is quickest of all.

Posted on April 21, 2006

Censoring for prophet

by David Holtzman

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The most fervid defenders of free speech in recent memory are made out of cardboard and three feet tall. Yes, I refer to the South Park characters (or at least Kyle and Stan). Comedy Central pulled an image of Mohammed from the South Park show last night, citing "World Events." Viewers were treated to a black screen with the words ""Comedy Central has refused to broadcast an image of Muhammad on their network."

Last month Comedy Central pulled a rerun of the show's infamous "Tom Cruise in the closet" Scientology episode.

So, there are clearly limits of offensiveness. I could easily imagine scripts involving say, Martin Luther King, the holocaust or abortion that would push too many buttons for me to defend.

But "free speech"? C'mon,if that isn't one of the things that we're fighting for in Iraq, it must be the oil, although I don't remember petroleum products being in the Bill of Rights.

Comedy Central is a company and they have the right to show whatever they want. I can appreciate their position. I wonder where this is all heading, however. I suspect that as I mentioned in an earlier blog about Howard Stern, that explicit content moves to satellite, safe stuff stays on cable, idiotic stuff on broadcast.

Wouldn't that be funny? Segmentation of entertainment media based on regulation.

It could happen, you know.

Posted on April 14, 2006

Metaculture

by David Holtzman

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Tonight South Park returns for a new season. There's the usual furor over the plot--in this case the battle between Scientology and Parker and Stone continues in the plotline, welcoming back the popular character "Chef", voiced by Isaac Hayes. It's widely rumored that Parker and Stone edited Hayes voice from previous episodes as if he'd cooperated. Purportedly this is because Hayes, a Scientologist, announced that he was leaving the show because of religous intolerance; suspiciously right after last year's controversial Scientology episode with the boys begging Scientologist Tom Cruise to "come out of the closet."

What's kind of interesting about this kind of show is that people either get it or they don't. It's not just South Part, either. Family Guy and others fall into this category of hip show that divides the squares from the circles. Most parents, for instance, do not watch these shows.

Why? I think that it's because they're not just pop culture, they're meta popculture. You cannot understand Family Guy, for instance, without having a sense of the innumerable references that they're poking fun at. Watch a family watching one of these shows and you'll see the kid explaining what's going on every 30 seconds, "see Mom, R. Kelly had a video about a closet and lots of people think that Tom Cruise is gay..."

Metaculture is a much higher pinnacle of social awareness than pop culture. It moves faster, too. Thank technology. Now it's not only enough to know references to be cool, you have to be aware of what's going on in the entertainment world...who's quitting shows, who's sleeping with whom, who is publicly feuding. Then you'll understand rap music better, appreciate music video and sit down with your kids and enjoy animated obscenity. Lord knows that I do.

Posted on March 22, 2006

The king of all lawsuits

by David Holtzman

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Howard Stern is an enigma. An intelligent and articulate man, he uses all of his considerable powers of expression to put words around every adolescent males' fantasies. He's a popular guy.

Stern jumped to Sirius radio recently for a reported $220 million contract. Now he's being sued by CBS for doing so.

But there's more at stake here than lesbian strippers or dwarf spanking or bologna slapping; it's about the future of media.

Broadcast or narrowcast? Federal content control or unregulated content?

These are way more significant questions. It will be interesting to see if any of this comes out in the suit.

If Stern is successful, then pay radio, as we know it now, is effectively dead.

There's the money, sure. There's also the freedom. More importantly, there's the development of a targeted audience who is willing to pay a premium for specialized content. That model is highly replicatable and is the future of satellite broadcasting.

Unlike cable television, this change will be quick and abrupt. The content is already there. The switch to satellite from broadcast is about removing restrictions, rather than developing content.
bababoie.

Posted on March 01, 2006

The pink flamingo effect

by David Holtzman

There's a phenomena that I often see with style, that I cal the Pink Flamingo effect. It goes like this:

1 plastic pink flamingo in your house is kitschy
A bunch of pink flamingos is stupid
A million pink flamingos is art.

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Posted on February 23, 2006

Warcraft--not that there's anything wrong with that

by David Holtzman

Warcraft is one of the most popular online games. But, gaming worlds, like the real ones, need to be sensitive to their citizens. BBC reports that a Warcraft player named Sara Andrews was threatened with expulsion from the fantasy game because she'd tried to set up a gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgender friendly team. A sys op told her that she was in violation of Warcraft's term of service, apparently because she used the word "lesbian". After the inevitable furor, the company apologized and said that it was going to run its staff through sensitivity training.

I see a story like this every few months. The online gaming worlds are a fascinating precursor of things to come. They're about a lot more than gaming. They're truly alternate realities and people that live there may fantasize a little about adventure and romance, but their values are the same. It would be a big mistake to assume otherwise.

Keep an eye on the online gaming world. It foreshadows something very new. Even nongamers will live in these worlds, sometimes, some day.

Posted on February 13, 2006

Where are the Kibos of yesteryear?

by David Holtzman

The Internet used to be populated by interesting people doing clever things. Before the commercialization of the 'Net in the mid '90s, Usenet's denizens would express themselves loudly (in text, of course), sometimes getting involved in flame wars.

One of these characters was a guy named James Parry, also known as Kibo. He was known for several things, most notably the legend that he would respond anywhere that his name was used. He also created a fake religion called kibology. You can read more about him here. Kibo still maintains a web site.

Ecccentrics are fun and reading them was one of the real joys of the Net. Sure, most of them are floating around somewhere on web sites, but it's just not the same thing. For one, they're completely overwhelmed by the snake oil hucksters, pedophiles and FBI terrorist hunters. And that's just Ebay:)

I miss the craziness. It would be nice to see someone play a good joke.

Posted on February 09, 2006

Football-headed child gets talk show

by David Holtzman

Stewie from the Fox TV show The Family Guy will be getting his own talk show later this year according to CNN.

The show will be Internet-only, signalling what I suspect will be a trend of alternative media outlets for entertainment, bypassing traditional distribution outlets (can you say "disintermediation"?) This is related to Mark Cuban and Steven Soderbergh's shotgun release of the film Bubble to HDnet, DVD and conventional theatre's simultaneously.

The reason that this movie is significant is because Family Guy can pull down real advertising dollars for Internet media.

I wonder what Stewie would say to the entertainment industry authorities that don't like this kind of encroachment? To quote out of context:

Hello.. I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.
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Posted on January 26, 2006

What's black and white and red all over?

by David Holtzman

Answer: the Internet.

The greatest medium for the spreading of hoaxes ever created. The most recent example is the Dartmouth student who claimed that DHS had investigated him because he had requested a copy of Mao's little red book.

Well, it wasn't true. Lots of people believed it, including Senator Kennedy, (in the interests of objectivity, I did too). Many of us wanted to believe ill of DHS anyway, so this didn't seem like a stretch.

Good hoaxes start with something that maybe hasn't happened, but could have, a kernel of believability. Drop this grain of truth into a distribution medium and step back and watch it spread.

I wondered if this effect would be triggered off during the last election, but outside of one phake photoshop pic of Kerry--nothing.

I suspect that this time will be different. This hoax spread too easily and even though it would have been simple for reporters to debunk (and it was), this didn't curtail its reach. When you have a highly contested, wide-open contest like the 2008 presidential election with literally tens of billions of special interest dollars riding on the outcome, expect some chicanery. More to come on this topic later.

Posted on January 04, 2006

The Whipped Cream Girl

by David Holtzman

Dolores Erickson is not a household word, but for men in their 40s or 50s, she's the "whipped cream" girl from the Herb Alpert album, "Whipped Cream and Other Delights".

Back in the 70s, everyone owned this album. It's memorable because of the cover art. Ms. Erickson was featured wearing only a sultry look, covered head to toe with whipped cream, There was something about that picture that was memorable and it became a cultural graphic icon.

Napoleon said that a picture is worth a thousand words. Pictures like album covers and commercials can burn their way into the cultural psyche so deep that our society is tattoed for life with the image.

I'll never forget the whipped cream girl or Marilyn's dress flying up from the grate or John Lennon in bed with Yoko in the hotel room. These pictures are to our culture what Homeric odes and oral mythology were to the ancients. They are our cultural legacy.


Posted on December 01, 2005

Women will listen to James Taylor singing the phone book

by David Holtzman

And men will watch anything with the James Bond theme playing, including cartoons. Some audio clues are so engrained into our unconscious that we react as a nation, as a gender or as a generation accordingly.

We're at an interesting plateau in our pop culture, because we come preequipped with a library of audio cues that preceding generations didn't have. We're preloaded like a PC that comes with MS Office instead of Works (does anyone actually use Works?).

Every visual thing becomes so much more powerful when a recognizable music tag is attached to it. Nike used the Beatles Revolution, teen movies today use the music of teens 40 years ago. Think how recognizable the beginning of some songs are like Back in Black by AC/DC, Thriller by Michael Jackson or Hard Day's Night by the Beatles.

Today's pop culture is recycling musical tags to quickly generate emotions and overlay them on top of something graphic.

What will tomorrow's pop culture do? Probably the reverse. They'll take the video images today and use them to garnish future sound.

I imagine we'll see new art forms follow from these entertwined uses of pop culture video and audio. Where's Andy Warhol now that he would really be appreciated?

Posted on November 15, 2005

Another thing that you can do with one hand...

by David Holtzman

Information technology is about content. What's an ipod worth without mp3 music? What's a computer without software? A DVD player without movies? New information technology is meaningless without the promise of tasty consumable content.

Whenever I see new gizmo, I think about this and wonder what it will actually be used for. it's like looking in an old person's kitchen gadget drawer and guessing what on Earth you're looking at.

So, the video ipod. What's it for? Will Steve Jobs make back his R&D nut with $1.99 clips of Desperate Housewives?

I don't think so.

So, what's the compelling content that will drive sales of a handheld video device?

Porn.

There's a great song in the broadway show, Avenue Q Where Trekkie Monster sings about the value of the Internet.

Link: Avenue Q song

To quote some of the lyrics:

The Internet is for porn
The Internet is for porn
Why do you think the net was born?
porn porn porn

Posted on November 04, 2005